GIRL!

A girl! You are a GIRL, and there is apparently no freaking doubt about it. The ultrasonographer even said 100%, which is a dangerous figure for her to throw around, no doubt.

I could put a picture here of your extra wee ladybits, just to extend the mortification to the entire internet, but I'll spare you...for now. Besides, I've got a nursery to plan and names to daydream about. After 5 months of "it" and "the baby" you are "her" and "she"! I can't even wrap my head around it quite yet.

Tomorrow I head back to work after a blissful break and I plan to drag Chris out of bed to take an official belly shot. Now that the belly is in full effect, and filled with squirming (seriously, you never stop moving. Ever.) little girl, we better document it!

A girl. My daughter. Holy crap.

Back from your first vacation.

In spite of the looming money woes surrounding maternity leave Chris and I took a much needed trip to the beach after Christmas this year. After the agonizingly long drive, made longer by my insanely small bladder, it was five days of warm sunshine, cool breezes, and feeling weightless in the pool. Considering I look like I'm smuggling a beachball in my stretched-to-the-limit bathingsuit, weightless was awfully nice. We ate a lot of great seafood and continued our tradition of lobster tail, stone crab claws, and a nip of champagne on New Years Eve.

And you? You have not stopped moving for the past 807 hours. Right now it feels like you are practicing some sort of martial art in there. Chris was finally able to feel you this morning, he *thinks*, but I feel nothing BUT you. Active little thing, aren't you?

Whoopsie.

It's been over a month! Oops. I would say that time has flown because I've been so busy or something, but really I've just been lazy and forgetful. So let's see, what's new in the past month...

I am FINALLY starting to show a little. As in, a belly that looks more pregnant and less fat. But it's still pretty small. I haven't gained any weight still and have a goal of 6 pounds by January 5th. Sadly, for the first time in my LIFE this seems like an impossible goal! Food is still a mystery to me. I eat it, but don't get enjoyment from it. Why I had to be blessed with this when I actually am encouraged to gain weight, I'll never know.

But anyway, the belly is coming along and your heartbeat is nice and strong. Next month we get to find out your gender, and make sure that you're growing as you should. I can't wait to see the ultrasound!

History!

Well, I spent most of the month of October in California for work, it seemed, and I've returned to Tennessee just as fall is peaking. I can't quite believe that by next November you will be 6 months old and able to see the brilliant red orange that our maple tree turns every year. Unreal.

This was a momentous week, on both national and personal levels. We elected a man to be our next president who signifies a great change and new level of hope for our country. The moment I found out that Barack Obama would be our next president, 11:00pm on Tuesday November 4th, I let out a big sigh, a few tears, and was so thankful that you would be born while our country is ruled by such an amazing man. The very idea that Barack Obama will be the president you first remember as a child moves me beyond belief. We have a long way to go but suddenly things don't feel insurmountable. I am so proud.

This week we also heard your heartbeat, loud and STRONG. So strong that my OB remarked in a rather shocked way. You are superbaby, I am starting to think. I'm 11 weeks along now and this doctors appointment gave me such peace of mind and confidence that you are going to be okay. We both are.

In other pregnancy symptom news, I have developed a new (and I've been assured temporary) allergy to the nickel in gold. Meaning that in place of my wedding rings I have an angry red rash. Lovely. I also continue to have very little appetite, which was reflected in the scale at the doctors, I've lost 4 pounds in a month. I have a little extra weight so I'm not really concerned about it, but I do miss the pleasure of food. I have a new love for Orange Julius, though, and could happily live on those. Maybe they are a good source of vitamin C?

There you are!

Just a little nugget of a thing, but "perfect" according to the doctor which was just what I needed to hear. Your due date is May 23rd but I'm sure you'll just take that as a suggestion. I celebrated a day of good news by eating everything in the world and I'm regretting it today. I feel bloated and sluggish, moreso than usual. But still, getting that good news was a relief like I couldn't believe. Rock on, baby.

Oh, I see.

Yesterday was...not good. I felt sea sick, like I was rocking under waves of vague nausea and discomfort. I got into bed at 7:30 and while I didn't go to sleep, I didn't get up except to pee 234 times. Finally I was actually hungry and ate a plate of pierogies with onions, in bed, watching Mad Men on my fancy new iPod.

Today I learned about maternity leave and I'm seriously freaked out. I am glad that I've already bought my iPod treat because after today I am flat out panicking about money, about time, about everything. My hormones are In Control today and I'm too weak to fight.

Same.

I'm still coughing, not much has changed. I have an approved inhaler that makes me all shakey which isn't really a fun trade-off for a cough-free hour at best. But I'm muddling through.

The appetite is still weird and getting to be unpleasant. For instance, the dumplings that sounded so good at lunchtime are now making me very burpey and icky feeling. Last night, in a fit of needing to make something for the bookclub I'm hosting this evening, I started making up a hearty mushroom stew that initially smelled and sounded wonderful. After an hour of cooking, though, I didn't even want to look at it. Is this how it's going to be now? Whereas before I didn't want anything at all, now I will want things only to not want them after all when it's too late? Tricky tricky baby.

One week until the doctors appointment where I hope to see the flicker of a heartbeat. I'm simultaneously excited and nervous.